Captain’s Log : Scene 3
Back to the stars!
I wrote the play CAPTAIN’S LOG back in 2016 during the summer. From there it was workshopped and eventually made its way to the stage in the spring of 2017 as well as a performance at a convention that summer.
I was very proud of the work I did, but even more proud of the cast and crew that worked on the first production of this show.
Please enjoy the next scene in this hilarious romp through space…
SCENE 3
EDWARD
Blanche, send word to have Ambassador Malcolm brought
up to the bridge.
There is no response. BLANCHE has
fallen asleep at her post.
LINUX
She appears to be asleep sir.
EDWARD
Sally!
SALLY
Got it.
She tosses a datapad across the bridge
and hits close to BLANCHE. The noise
wakes her up.
BLANCHE
I’m up, I’m up.
EDWARD
Blanche, send word to have Ambassador Malcolm brought up to the bridge.
BLANCHE
Right. (She goes to work.)
LINUX
That’s odd.
MARY-ANNE
What is?
LINUX
Arteen 7 was selected as the rendezvous point because records showed no signs of intelligent life on the surface. Small creatures here and there yes, but nothing sentient that could interfere or witness the meeting.
SALLY
We know that.
LINUX
Well except that now sensors are picking up signs of advanced life forms on the surface. 3 signatures to be exact.
SALLY
What? Where?
LINUX
Allow me to pull it up on the computer display. The lifeform are located… right… here.
An actor in all black enters during
LINUX’s line. They are holding a
model planet. AS LINUX indicates where
the signals are coming from, the actor
dramatically points to a spot on the planet.
PIPER
Maybe it’s the Lithorians. They could be here early.
QUINARRA
Unlikely. They would not set foot on a lowly world unless necessary.
DRAKE
Radar isn’t showing any signs of a ship in the area.
SALLY
What about on the planet?
DRAKE
Tough to say. There appear to be a lot of caves on the surface. If a ship is hidden there, I can’t see it.
EDWARD
It’s a trap! Or maybe it’s a test! Or maybe it’s both. Either way, Linux put us at red alert. Better safe than sorry.
Linux adjusts the lights to a red alert.
EDWARD (CONT.)
Uh, maybe not so red. I mean, we’re not in battle, so we don’t need full panicked red. Try something softer, like I hope nothing jumps out at us red.
Linux adjusts the lights again.
EDWARD (CONT.)
That’s better.
At this time, MALCOLM is led onstage by Ensign
WYATT. He is young, and fearful. He is wearing a
red uniform. He know the statistics on wearing the
uniform.
WYATT
Presenting Ambassador Malcolm.
MALCOLM
What is going on here? Why are we at red alert? And why is the red alert a different shade of red?
EDWARD
We’ve detected advanced life forms on the planet surface. The Lithorians don’t seem to be in the area, so it’s possible this could be some sort of trap and/or test.
MALCOLM
Well we’re only supposed to meet the Lithorians by shuttle. So let’s just stay up here.
EDWARD
That’s what they would want us to do. You see Malcolm, when it comes to fighting the enemy, you have to think like the enemy. They think that we’ll avoid them but they want us to go to the surface. So, that’s what we will do.
MALCOLM
That’s insane.
EDWARD
Precisely why it will work.
MALCOLM
This better not prevent me from doing my duty. If this treaty isn’t signed, it could spell war for the galaxy.
EDWARD
Don’t worry. (Blowing him off.) I’ll have you to your book signing. Now, I will lead a small landing party to the surface. The ambassadors will come with us for protection. Quinarra, I will serve as your personal bodyguard. Commander Sally, you will come along as well. Doctor Hawkins, you too. And, who else? (He now just starts picking random people.) Hmm. Mechanic girl (points to MARY-ANNE.) Uh, mega-man (points to LINUX.) And... (points to WYATT.) You. What’s your name?
WYATT
Oh no. Please, no.
EDWARD
Name, ensign.
WYATT
Wyatt, sir. Please, Captain. I’m just part of the cleaning detail on the ship. I handle the bathrooms on deck 4-6, they just asked me to bring him up here. I don’t need to go on an away mission.
EDWARD
Nonsense. Everyone loves away missions.
WYATT
Please, sir. Don’t make me go.
EDWARD
(Walking toward him) You’re coming on this mission.
WYATT
Sir, I don’t want to... (looks at his uniform) you know.
EDWARD
What?
WYATT
Die.
EDWARD
Ridiculous! I’ve been on countless away missions and I haven’t died once. You have nothing to worry about.
WYATT
But sir, you’re never wearing the red.
EDWARD
Enough, ensign. It’s an order. Besides, it’s not like we’re going down their unarmed. Drake, get me my gun.
DRAKE gets up from his post and goes to a storage
box up stage. He retrieves a large laser rifle. He
begins to walk it down to EDWARD.
SALLY
Sir, forgive me saying this, but if by chance the life forms are the Lithorians, would it be wise to bring a giant gun? This is a peace summit after all.
EDWARD
What’s not peaceful about a giant gun?
SALLY
No gun. (To DRAKE.) NO gun. (She begins to move down stage right.)
EDWARD
Fine, no gun. (He mouths to DRAKE that he still wants the gun.) Very well, team, are we ready? To the shuttle bay. (He leads the off stage right.) Come along, Wayne.
WYATT
It’s Wyatt. Oh man, this sucks.
KADEN
Good luck, dude. It was nice meeting you. (He pats him on the back as WYATT walks by.)
The away team makes their way offstage
and the others watch them go. There are only
3 people left on the bridge.
BLANCHE
Did they all leave?
DRAKE
Yes. I’ll pull up netflix. The captain still has his account open. Kaden, get some popcorn.
KADEN
Don’t start without me. Don’t start without me! (He runs off SL.)
The lights fade on the scene.
