Captain’s Log : Scene 2
My full time job as an English and Theatre teacher has been filling a lot of my free time as of late. The school year has started and we’re diving into our fall show and classes, so my writing time has been limited as of late. So, while I am working on new things in the background, I wanted to give you all a chance to continue reading CAPTAIN’S LOG.
Continue with the adventures of Sally as her captain has taken on a new mission and she struggles to prove herself worthy of command. This is scene 2 of the 90-minute comedy that lovingly parodies old sci-fi shows of the 60’s through the 80’s.
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SCENE 2
On the deck of the ship, many hours laters. The
ship is still flying at hyper speed and the lights
are different as space warps around them.EDWARD is
Playing with action figures.
EDWARD
Navigation.
DRAKE
Yes, sir?
EDWARD
Are we there yet?
DRAKE
Negative. Still a little bit further.
SALLY
Piper.
PIPER
What?
SALLY
I’m going to go talk to him.
PIPER
About? Oh, no. Sally, let it go.
SALLY leaves her station and goes to stand by the
captain.
SALLY
Captain, I’d like to talk to you about something.
EDWARD
Very well. It seems we have time to kill.
SALLY
Well, I don’t know if you were aware, but I recently put in for a promotion.
EDWARD
I’m aware.
SALLY
Oh. You are?
EDWARD
Yes, high command asked about you. So you want to be a captain?
SALLY
Yes, of course. It’s been my dream ever since joining the fleet.
EDWARD
Good. It’s good to have goals. Something to work toward. Or so I’m told. I’ve been so successful at life that I’m not sure what the lesser people do to keep themselves going.
SALLY
Well, Captain, can I ask what you told high command? For some reason your opinion carries a lot of weight.
EDWARD
The reason is I’m never wrong.
SALLY
...Right. Well, high command ended up not promoting me.
EDWARD
I know. I told them not to promote you.
SALLY
YOU WHAT?!
PIPER
Oh no.
EDWARD
I told them that you needed more experience in the field and that you hadn’t mastered the art of leadership yet.
SALLY
How could you do that? You’ve ruined my career.
EDWARD
Sally, please. Listen, I like to think I’m like a father-figure to you.
SALLY
We’re the same age.
EDWARD
Yes, well. I feel like there’s a lot you can learn from me. How to delegate assignments. How to determine jobs for crews and how to make a shift schedule.
SALLY
I already know how to do THAT. I do them for you.
EDWARD
Exactly. Which is why you are invaluable to this ship.
SALLY
I can’t believe this. I’m being held back by the worst captain in the galaxy.
EDWARD
Ouch, Sally. You know I’m the most decorated captain in a generation. Don’t be mad at me because you’re not ready for the job.
SALLY
You don’t know the first thing about leadership.
EDWARD
Lies! I know all the things about leadership. Leaders have to be confident and quick thinking. Why, one wrong move and your whole crew could die.
SALLY
Your quick thinking is what usually gets us in trouble in the first place. You don’t take the time to analyze what’s going on. A captain needs to be able to think under pressure and make the tough decisions on his… or HER own.
EDWARD
Do you realize how silly you sound right now?
SALLY
You need to actually read the reports and study things to be prepared. You can’t have knee-jerk reactions to everything.
EDWARD
Why would I ever read the reports. That’s what you’re for. I was appointed to lead, not read.
SALLY
You are impossible.
EDWARD
Thank you.
SALLY
It was not a compliment.
EDWARD
Commander, you need some air. Why don’t you go get the Lithorian Ambassador and bring her to the bridge.
SALLY, visibly upset, lets out an angry grunt and
walks off stage SL.
EDWARD (CONT.)
Handled like a true captain. Drake, inform me the moment we’re within range of Arteen 7.
DRAKE
Yes, sir.
MARY-ANNE enters from SR and slowly walks toward
LINUX. She stand between him and KADEN.
MARY-ANNE
Hi, Linux.
LINUX
Hello, Mary-Anne. Is there something I can help you with?
MARY-ANNE
No, I just wanted to come up and say hi. See what you were doing.
LINUX
Well currently I am doing some telemetry work with our sensors and scanning subspace anomalies.
MARY-ANNE
Cool. Cool. So, I can’t remember if I ever thanked you for the flowers you gave me on my birthday.
LINUX
You did. 3 times exactly, all within 5 minutes of getting them. Your birthday was 5 months ago.
MARY-ANNE
Well, thank you.
LINUX
Thank you for thanking me.
MARY-ANNE
No, thank you.
LINUX
No, thank you.
MARY-ANNE
No, thank you.
SALLY
What is happening over there? It’s unbearable.
PIPER
Well, Linux is an android, so I think he is stuck in an infinite loop. And Mary-Anne is just an idiot.
MARY-ANNE
Anyway, I just really appreciated it. It was nice.
LINUX
I felt it was the least I could do, considering how helpful you have been to me since I joined the crew.
MARY-ANNE
Don’t sweat it. I enjoy the time we have together. I like charging your battery.
LINUX
As do I.
MARY-ANNE
So listen, earlier you said that you don’t do much beyond work or meetings, right?
LINUX
That is correct. I attend a social gathering every two weeks to keep up appearances for the crew. Beyond that, I mainly do research and keep to myself.
MARY-ANNE
Well if you ever wanted to do anything, I’m usually free too.
LINUX
Such as?
MARY-ANNE
I don’t know. Get a bite to eat.
LINUX
I do not eat.
MARY-ANNE
Well we could see a movie on the holodeck.
LINUX
Movies are good.
MARY-ANNE
What kind do you like?
LINUX
I’m not sure I’m following this line of questioning.
KADEN
(Who has been listening the whole time.) She’s hitting on you, dude.
LINUX
Pardon. I do not know the meaning of the phrase.
MARY-ANNE
It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it. Kaden, sorry you felt left out. Here, let me hit on you too. (She punches him in the arm). Linux, see you later. (She storms off.)
KADEN
What was that for?
LINUX
I do not know.
SALLY reenters leading QUINARRA on. When EDWARD
sees her, he jumps up and assumes a dashing pose.
SALLY
Welcome to the bridge. Captain, here you go. (She goes back to her station.)
EDWARD
Ah, Quinarra, thank you for joining me.
QUINARRA
Thank you for the invitation. I was hoping to see more of the ship of the famous captain.
EDWARD
Well look no further.
QUINARRA
It’s marvelous.
EDWARD
What would you like to see?
QUINARRA
I wouldn’t know where to begin.
EDWARD
Here, let me show you my favorite part... Drake, bring up the view screen from the rear cameras.
DRAKE
Sir, that’s not really my area.
EDWARD
Drake. View Screen. Chop chop.
DRAKE
Sure. Okay.
The view screen comes up to show the trail of
stars left behind as the ship flies through space.
QUINARRA
Oh my, that is lovely.
EDWARD
It’s the trail of stars left behind as we fly past them at hyperspeed. It’s one of my favorite things to do sometimes.
DRAKE
He’s never asked me to bring that up. Sally, you?
SALLY
This is new. It’s a new favorite thing.
EDWARD
It reminds me of the poor souls we leave behind when we go off to defend them.
QUINARRA
How very thoughtful of you. I admire your dedication.
SALLY
It’s a play.
DRAKE
He’s hitting on her.
EDWARD
Have you ever seen a hyperspeed trail from behind like this?
QUINARRA
No. Never.
EDWARD
You’ve never viewed one with your father, or your boyfriend before?
KADEN
Whoop, there it is.
QUINARRA
Well, captain. My father died in battle a long time ago, and I have no boyfriend to speak of.
EDWARD
Perfect.
QUINARRA
Sorry?
EDWARD
I said, that’s unfortunate. Everyone needs someone, Quinarra. Tell me, what do you look for in a man?
QUINARRA
Two things, mostly. Bravery, and honesty.
EDWARD
Honesty, eh? Let me tell you a story then. It’s about the time I defeated a horde of ravenous cave dwellers from the moons of Virgon. I fought them all. Alone. With one hand tied behind my back.
QUINARRA
Really?
EDWARD
Yes. People were so impressed they gave me a nickname. "Hand-solo." Cause, you know. I was solo, and only used a hand.
QUINARRA
I get it. Impressive.
EDWARD
You liked that? Well here’s another. It’s about the time I defeated the hideous sleeping bear monster of planet Hibernatious with nothing but my hands and a-
DRAKE
Sir.
EDWARD
I’m busy, Drake.
DRAKE
We’re arriving at Arteen 7.
QUINARRA
Really? At last.
EDWARD
Slow us down, Kaden.
KADEN
Ok. (Talking to himself.) Ease off the clutch, twist down the throttle, good. Good. Phew.
The ship slows down and the lights return to
normal. EDWARD moves to his seat. Everyone
holds on as the ship slows down.
